In July 2025, I embarked on one of the most challenging yet transformative journeys of my life: undergoing invasive EEG monitoring followed by radiofrequency ablation to manage my epilepsy. This experience marked a significant turning point, both medically and philosophically.

My hospital journey began on July 7 with invasive EEG monitoring. Doctors used a robotic system called ROSA to place depth electrodes directly into my brain, aiming to precisely identify the region causing my seizures. Over sixteen days, I experienced dozens of seizures and auras, meticulously pressing a button to log each event. Sensations I’d known intimately for years—tunnel vision, ringing in my left ear, sudden shifts in temperature, and vibrations—finally aligned with measurable electrical activity captured in real-time.

To my surprise and relief, my seizures originated not from my temporal lobe, as initially suspected, but from my right parietal operculum and posterior insula. This revelation was crucial because it confirmed that surgery would not jeopardize critical language or memory functions, which are primarily housed in the temporal lobe.

With the seizure origin clearly identified, my medical team recommended radiofrequency ablation (RF ablation). On July 23, fully awake and acutely aware, I underwent this precise procedure. Doctors guided electrodes directly to the seizure focus and used targeted heat to destroy the problematic tissue. Each ablation produced an audible “pop”—a surreal yet reassuring indicator that the specific neurons causing my seizures were being effectively silenced.

The immediate aftermath of the ablation felt strange yet hopeful. I experienced phantom triggers—sensations reminiscent of pre-seizure warnings, as if my brain was reaching for neural pathways that no longer existed. Despite this eerie sensation, my neurologic baseline remained stable. Doctors informed me that although RF ablation does not guarantee complete seizure freedom, it significantly increases the chances of reduced seizure frequency and intensity.

This journey profoundly impacted more than my physical health; it reshaped my philosophical outlook. Prior to surgery, I held lingering spiritual beliefs, quietly entertaining questions about the existence of a soul and an afterlife. Post-ablation, however, these beliefs vanished abruptly. It was as if the procedure had silenced not just my seizures but also the neural mechanisms that allowed mystical speculation. I emerged from surgery with a newfound clarity: a conviction in atheism, an acknowledgment of the universe as indifferent yet astonishingly beautiful, and an ethical urgency grounded entirely in observable reality.

Today, I document every nuance of this transformation—the physical sensations, emotional shifts, and philosophical evolution. This experience taught me resilience and introspection. It illuminated the extraordinary adaptability of the human brain and reinforced my commitment to truth, evidence, and ethical responsibility. Ultimately, my hospital journey wasn’t merely a quest for medical solutions; it was a profound exploration of identity, consciousness, and the boundaries between biology and belief.